Becoming Provident Providers Temporally and Spiritually

This blog post is a quotation of an Elder Hales, an apostle of the Lord Jesus Christ, speech of April 2009.

How blessed we are to be led by a living prophet! Growing up during the Great Depression, President Thomas S. Monson learned how to serve others. Often his mother asked him to deliver food to needy neighbors, and she would give homeless men odd jobs in exchange for home-cooked meals. Later as a young bishop, he was taught by President J. Reuben Clark, “Be kind to the widow and look after the poor” (in Thomas S. Monson, “A Provident Plan—A Precious Promise,” Ensign, May 1986, 62). President Monson looked after 84 widows and cared for them until they passed away. Through the years, his service to members and neighbors throughout the world has become the hallmark of his ministry. We are grateful to have his example. Thank you, President Monson.

Brothers and sisters, as did President Monson, our children are growing up in times of economic uncertainty. Just as our grandparents and great-grandparents learned vital lessons through economic adversity, what we learn now, in our present circumstances, can bless us and our posterity for generations to come.

Today I speak to all whose freedom to choose has been diminished by the effects of ill-advised choices of the past. I speak specifically of choices that have led to excessive debt and addictions to food, drugs, pornography, and other patterns of thought and action that diminish one’s sense of self-worth. All of these excesses affect us individually and undermine our family relationships. Of course some debt incurred for education, a modest home, or a basic automobile may be necessary to provide for a family. Unfortunately however, additional debt is incurred when we cannot control our wants and addictive impulses. And for both debt and addiction, the hopeful solution is the same—we must turn to the Lord and follow His commandments. We must want more than anything else to change our lives so that we can break the cycle of debt and our uncontrolled wants. I pray that in the next few minutes, and throughout this conference, you will be filled with hope in our Savior, Jesus Christ, and find hope in the doctrines of His restored gospel.

Our challenges, including those we create by our own decisions, are part of our test in mortality. Let me assure you that your situation is not beyond the reach of our Savior. Through Him, every struggle can be for our experience and our good (see D&C 122:7). Each temptation we overcome is to strengthen us, not destroy us. The Lord will never allow us to suffer beyond what we can endure (see 1 Corinthians 10:13).

We must remember that the adversary knows us extremely well. He knows where, when, and how to tempt us. If we are obedient to the promptings of the Holy Ghost, we can learn to recognize the adversary’s enticements. Before we yield to temptation, we must learn to say with unflinching resolve, “Get thee behind me, Satan” (Matthew 16:23).

Our success is never measured by how strongly we are tempted but by how faithfully we respond. We must ask for help from our Heavenly Father and seek strength through the Atonement of His Son, Jesus Christ. In both temporal and spiritual things, obtaining this divine assistance enables us to become provident providers for ourselves and others.

What is a provident provider?

All of us are responsible to provide for ourselves and our families in both temporal and spiritual ways. To provide providently, we must practice the principles of provident living: joyfully living within our means, being content with what we have, avoiding excessive debt, and diligently saving and preparing for rainy-day emergencies. When we live providently, we can provide for ourselves and our families and also follow the Savior’s example to serve and bless others.

Being provident providers, we must keep that most basic commandment, “Thou shalt not covet” (Exodus 20:17). Our world is fraught with feelings of entitlement. Some of us feel embarrassed, ashamed, less worthwhile if our family does not have everything the neighbors have. As a result, we go into debt to buy things we can’t afford—and things we do not really need. Whenever we do this, we become poor temporally andspiritually. We give away some of our precious, priceless agency and put ourselves in self-imposed servitude. Money we could have used to care for ourselves and others must now be used to pay our debts. What remains is often only enough to meet our most basic physical needs. Living at the subsistence level, we become depressed, our self-worth is affected, and our relationships with family, friends, neighbors, and the Lord are weakened. We do not have the time, energy, or interest to seek spiritual things.

How then do we avoid and overcome the patterns of debt and addiction to temporal, worldly things? May I share with you two lessons in provident living that can help each of us. These lessons, along with many other important lessons of my life, were taught to me by my wife and eternal companion. These lessons were learned at two different times in our marriage—both on occasions when I wanted to buy her a special gift.

The first lesson was learned when we were newly married and had very little money. I was in the air force, and we had missed Christmas together. I was on assignment overseas. When I got home, I saw a beautiful dress in a store window and suggested to my wife that if she liked it, we would buy it. Mary went into the dressing room of the store. After a moment the salesclerk came out, brushed by me, and returned the dress to its place in the store window. As we left the store, I asked, “What happened?” She replied, “It was a beautiful dress, but we can’t afford it!” Those words went straight to my heart. I have learned that the three most loving words are “I love you,” and the four most caring words for those we love are “We can’t afford it.”

The second lesson was learned several years later when we were more financially secure. Our wedding anniversary was approaching, and I wanted to buy Mary a fancy coat to show my love and appreciation for our many happy years together. When I asked what she thought of the coat I had in mind, she replied with words that again penetrated my heart and mind. “Where would I wear it?” she asked. (At the time she was a ward Relief Society president helping to minister to needy families.)

Then she taught me an unforgettable lesson. She looked me in the eyes and sweetly asked, “Are you buying this for me or for you?” In other words, she was asking, “Is the purpose of this gift to show your love for me or to show me that you are a good provider or to prove something to the world?” I pondered her question and realized I was thinking less about her and our family and more about me.

After that we had a serious, life-changing discussion about provident living, and both of us agreed that our money would be better spent in paying down our home mortgage and adding to our children’s education fund.

These two lessons are the essence of provident living. When faced with the choice to buy, consume, or engage in worldly things and activities, we all need to learn to say to one another, “We can’t afford it, even though we want it!” or “We can afford it, but we don’t need it—and we really don’t even want it!”

There is an equally important principle underlying these lessons: we can learn much from communicating with our husbands and wives. As we counsel and work together in family councils, we can help each other become provident providers and teach our children to live providently as well.

The foundation of provident living is the law of the tithe. The primary purpose of this law is to help us develop faith in our Heavenly Father and His Son, Jesus Christ. Tithinghelps us overcome our desires for the things of this world and willingly make sacrifices for others. Tithing is the great equitable law, for no matter how rich or poor we are, all of us pay the same one-tenth of our increase annually (see D&C 119:4), and all of us receive blessings so great “that there shall not be room enough to receive [them]” (Malachi 3:10).

In addition to our tithes, we should also be an example with the payment of fast offerings. A fast offering is at least the cost of the two consecutive meals from which we fast each month. By not eating these two meals, we draw close to the Lord in humility and prayer and also participate in anonymous giving to bless our brothers and sisters all over the world.

Another important way we help our children learn to be provident providers is by establishing a family budget. We should regularly review our family income, savings, and spending plan in family council meetings. This will teach our children to recognize the difference between wants and needs and to plan ahead for meaningful use of family resources.

When our boys were young, we had a family council and set a goal to take a “dream vacation” down the Colorado River. When any of us wanted to buy something during the next year, we would ask each other, “Do we really want to buy that thing now, or do we want to take our dream trip later?” This was a wonderful teaching experience in choosing provident living. By not satisfying our every immediate want, we obtained the more desirable reward of family togetherness and fond memories for years to come.

Whenever we want to experience or possess something that will impact us and our resources, we may want to ask ourselves, “Is the benefit temporary, or will it have eternal value and significance?” Truthfully answering these questions may help us avoid excessive debt and other addictive behavior.

In seeking to overcome debt and addictive behaviors, we should remember that addiction is the craving of the natural man, and it can never be satisfied. It is an insatiable appetite. When we are addicted, we seek those worldly possessions or physical pleasures that seem to entice us. But as children of God, our deepest hunger and what we should be seeking is what the Lord alone can provide—His love, His sense of worth, His security, His confidence, His hope in the future, and assurance of His love, which brings us eternal joy.

We must want, more than anything else, to do our Heavenly Father’s will and providently provide for ourselves and others. We must say, as did King Lamoni’s father, “I will give away all my sins to know thee” (Alma 22:18). Then we can go to Him with steadfast determination and promise Him, “I will do whatever it takes.” Through prayer, fasting, obedience to the commandments, priesthood blessings, and His atoning sacrifice, we will feel His love and power in our lives. We will receive His spiritual guidance and strength through the promptings of the Holy Ghost. Only through our Lord’s Atonement can we obtain a mighty change of heart (see Mosiah 5:2; Alma 5:14) and experience a mighty change in our addictive behavior.

With all the love I have in me and with the Savior’s love through me, I invite you to come unto Him and hear His words: “Wherefore, do not spend money for that which is of no worth, nor your labor for that which cannot satisfy. Hearken diligently unto me, and remember the words which I have spoken; and come unto the Holy One of Israel, and feast upon that which perisheth not, neither can be corrupted” (2 Nephi 9:51).

I testify that the appetite to possess worldly things can only be overcome by turning to the Lord. The hunger of addiction can only be replaced by our love for Him. He stands ready to help each one of us. “Fear not,” He said, “for you are mine, and I have overcome the world” (D&C 50:41).

I bear my special witness that through the Atonement He has overcome all things. May each of us also overcome worldly temptation by coming unto Him and by becoming provident providers both temporally and spiritually for ourselves and others is my humble prayer in the name of Jesus Christ, Amen."

January 25, 2015

     The evening after I got the word that I was not chosen for the internship position with the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, I informed Aaron Hicken, the General Manager of Delta Stone Products and my father's cousin, that I will be staying here in Heber. It took me a while to get to word to come in for work, but I finally did on Friday. Eve and Ezra have finally come to play. I think that my grandparents were waiting until they knew that I was staying before letting them come. Thursday was a big day for me. Today is now Friday, the thirtieth of January. I just finished my first week of work. I have not actually started my internship yet. Work is just like what I did in the summer. I like production work because it lets me think a lot. Things that I thought of this past week were starting my career now, a weekly exciting schedule for the Mormon YSA Blog Spot Writer's Support Group, and an invention. Jessica and I have been reading the Book of Jer3miah: Premonition, but it has been disappointing. We are currently looking for another book to read. I have consulted John Reed, an old friend, and he offered many great suggestions. I was placed in a new station at Delta Stone Products because a coworker speaks English. I couldn't understand him today, when he explained our new product. It inspires me to write about one concept that I introduced in the last journal entry. That is assumption and communication. I have a lot of inspiring thoughts, but I am not always inspired. I am full of errors like everyone else.
     Aaron said that he was going to call me a couple days in a row, but he has been too busy that he never got back to me. On Thursday the twenty second, I decided to go on a run to visit Delta Stone Products and a local architect. I also tried to visit some friends around town, but they were all not available. The architect was not out of town, and I was surprised that Aaron Hicken was in his office when I visited. He is rarely there. Aaron said that he has been installing new equipment, which should have been working a month ago, forcing him to work sixteen to seventeen hours a day. We caught up a little bit, and he said that he was going to call me that night at 10. When he was not calling again, I texted his number. We arranged that I call him the next day after two in the afternoon, and I had to call him three times to get to him. He basically told me to come to work on Monday, and we will start figuring out learning opportunities for my internship after the first week because the equipment's installation will be finished.
     I worked at Delta Stone Products last Summer, but I was placed in a different station for the first week. We took raw stone and cut it down to a shape in which the veneer would be sawed off.
     The work has been going very smoothly; although, the machines break a lot. A hydraulic tube exploded. The teeth of the pressure stone cutting machine break all the time, and the thing connecting the motor to the conveyor belt broke yesterday. The machine was probably down for at least two hours this week. I saw my coworker write that the hydraulic tube broke three times in the  past three weeks. It is pretty chill. I was out in that station because that coworker speaks English, but since he goes home during lunch, we don't chat much; plus, it is too loud to talk during work.
     I would like to talk about a communication principle that I have introduced in the last journal entry. It is assumption and communication. We were palletizing a new product in a complex way. He assumed that I understood his explanation, but I didn't understand what he said. It came to a point that he realized that he needed to clarify what the operation is. I felt like I was having a conversation like Nephi with the Holy Ghost because he asked me if I know what is going on, and I said that I knew that it had to do with a combination of rocks. I can't recall the conversation, but it reminded me of Nephi's vision. He said that I needed to work faster, and I looked like I didn't want to work. I just didn't know what is going on. He made a lot of assumptions, and communication would solve many problems. One main concept about assumption and communication that I thought of currently is assuming agreement. This can be seen in relationships. I have heard people say at school that if a couple has been dating and they kiss. They assume that they are dating, but I can see how that can get people in trouble. I never heard of a DTR conversation (Determine The Relationship) before I went to BYUI, but I felt communicating whether the friendship is a steady dating relationship is important before I went to my university. Another way that couples can assume agreement is when one party says something, but the other individual doesn't feel that the individual can express their disagreement and view like my work situation. My parent's situation is like this. I have learned that this communication skills is important to relationship because of them. It is annoying to date girls that don't put their input, and they want you to basically run the show. My mother feels free to express her ideas, but my father doesn't always agree, not feeling comfortable enough to express himself. She does things assuming their agreement. My immediate family is not very conscious nor united because both my father and brother feel stuck. My mother can make things very miserable because the parental communication lacks proper humility. I always check my relationship with Jessica for agreement, and I am so grateful for the humble communication that we have.
     I have a lot of time to think at work. This is one reason that I like production work. I thought of how I can start my career. I want to design completely self sufficient buildings that produce and retain water and electricity. There are a lot of places hurting for water. If I design a fruitful product that can do these things, I can save many people's lives, raising the living standards greatly. I was thinking of making places of refuge for troubled nations making off grid cities and restoring wasteland.
     I also thought of a fun routine, seeking the success of the Mormon YSA Blog Spot Writer's Support Group. This is how it goes: Follow Up Monday, Question Tuesday, Recent Post Wednesday, Introduce Yourself Thursday, and Feedback Friday. I like how I thought of clever rhymes. The group has been active.
     Jessica and I have been reading Book of Jer3miah: Premonition. It is a conspiracy novel published by the Deseret Book Company. Jessica and I put our opinions together, thinking that it is unnecessary intense. The background characters are idiots. The situations are unrealistic. Finally, the story progresses to slow. I am a straight forward person. This book is not successful because it is not designed to be successful. In the last chapter that I read Jeremiah's bishop coincidentally was sitting next to Jeremiah at the airport after a funeral on his way home. The bishop coincidentally served with Jeremiah's father on a mission, and his wife gave the bishop clothing and food by chance that he runs into Jeremiah in the airport. Luggage is costly at an airport. People don't just walk around with extra stuff by the chance that they may run into someone in the airport. I am a blunt person sometimes. If you want my opinion, I will give it to you, holding back nothing. I am not going to act as though everything is great. There is always room for improvement.
    When Jessica and I decided to look for another book to read, I knew the right person to ask. His name is John Reed. I remembered that he was reading the Dune series in high school. Jessica and I were looking for a science fiction book, so this is what I have for you.
     "Hi John Reed, Didn't you read the Dune series? How good is the story and science fiction?"
     "The story is very good it lightly touched on science it is More about human nature"
     "Oh. Do you know any good science fiction books with a good story too?"
     "Dune is only read yearly list"
     "What do you mean?"
     "I read it once a year minimum. Starship troopers"
     "Do you have other books that you read yearly?"
     "Die the fire by am sterling and his emberverce series"
     "Hmm I will check them out. How have you been? ... Isn't Dune post-apocalyptic too?"
     "And Empire and hidden empire by Orson Scot card. Dune is future."
    "Do you know any science fiction that blows the readers mind?"
     "Atlas shrugged by Ayn Rand"
     "How bad does the romance get? Have you read it?"
     "So first of it band in all communist country's. It is on the heavy side moderate.
     "Does it describe sex scenes and suggestive themes?"
     "I would recommend it to a high school senior. But it does describe them but not graphically."
     "How often and long are these scenes?"
     "Twice and not very long. But the book helped shape American mind set"
     "Hmmm. That one is tempting. Do you know any other good science fiction books like Atlas Shrugged? I am going to read it with my girlfriend, and I would like other options. I would rather not deal with sex scenes."
     "Stranger in a strange land"
     "This one sounds good. Thanks."
     Eve and Ezra visit often mainly on the weekends. We sometimes have a hard time thinking of things to do because it is cold outside, but we have fun. We were wrestling last night. Eve and I are thinking of producing another video. We are thinking of making short film about what may have happened after the Monsters Inc discovery that harvesting the energy for children's laughter is a lot more productive than their fear and screaming. I talk to Jessica every morning and night, and she enjoyed hearing the rough housing and fun that we were having.

     Eve and I were able to have a good discussion about modesty after she visited with a new outfit and boots. The conversation was good. She asked me to clarify the words that I were saying like self-esteem and chastity. I told her that how you respect your body with what you wear tells people about you, and you will attract people into your life that may be a blessing or a curse. The way that you treat yourself will indicate how people will and can treat you. If you treat yourself well, the people around you will most likely treat you much greater. If you treat yourself badly, the people around you will most likely treat you much worse. For, you will receive the love that you think that you deserve, but it must first be reflected in the individual's behavior. You do not want to attract bad situations and people into your life. The way that you show yourself to the world is a display of your self-esteem; confidence, respect, and love in yourself; and integrity. People can tell, without getting to know you, the behaviors that you will most likely have. It is a reflection of your character. It tells people that you either worship God or the world. If you are weak to the ways of the world, you will most likely fall into it. If you are strong in the ways of God, you will most likely come as close to him as possible. I will post a picture of her outfit, for I took it for Eve to hear the opinion of others. This outfit says that she is weak to the ways of the world. Many people would say that it is cute, but the shirt without the undershirt is inappropriate. I would say. If you do not feel comfortable with wearing the shirt without an undershirt, you should not consider wearing it. This depicts a weakness to the world. Girls should not be dressed up with sexy outfits with undershirts, saying that the clothing makes them 'cute'. They do not need to externalize their beauty to how they look. Their beauty should not depend on their clothing, skin, hair, face, make up or anything external, but these external things should magnify their self-esteem; confidence, respect, and love in yourself; and integrity. These outfits are simple; not gaudy too tight or loose. I particularly don't like fabrics that are too soft. If you dress you girls up in sexy outfits but say that it is cute, it shows the girl how to sexy. Girls should not have to feel sexy to feel happy and accepted. If I seek to date sexy girls, there is a vanity in it. I didn't want to say that sexy people are vain, but it is what their external display tells me. Their personalities are weak in some kind of confidence. I told my grandma and my mother about my conversation with Eve, and they both said that her outfits are immodest. Her immediate response was shocked, when I told Eve their opinions which I agreed with, saying that she may not come visit me again, not feeling accepted by anyone in the house, but after a while she understood our love for her.