23 October 2017
Today is Monday, a day that I catch up with the crews from the weekend. Daniel Ledesma, Jessica's uncle, took me out to lunch.
When I arrived at work, I caught up with little things from the previous week, and I began to look into why my inventory tracker is not functioning well. I am going to look into merging excel files. I did not want to have the audio-visual display of a YouTube video disrupt people's mornings, so I am going to look into it later.
Daniel picked me up at 11:30 AM, so I had to go to get the foreman Daily Construction Reports early. I left last minute from the office, and he arrived exactly on time. We went to the nearest Poké venue. It was not a restaurant, and we sat at a very small table. It was so small that when I set my food on the table, I accidentally put it on the edge of the table, and it fell. Our conversation was good. He gave me a book on Audible called 'When Panic Attacks' because he asked if I listen to anything when I ride my bike to work. I said that I want to be more literature focused, and he recently finished listening to the book. We talked about social media, not having TV’s in our homes, and anxiety.
24 October 2017
I listened to the book Daniel gave me with Audible. I need to get used to the app because I lost my place this morning. It teaches that cognitive behavior therapy should be the first resort for depression, anxiety, and more. Overwhelming Suicidal and homicidal thoughts should be addressed immediately by proper entities. People with overwhelming homicidal thoughts were recommended to call 911. I am going to have to listen to the first chapter again, since I lost my spot, so I may not be able to give more information later. The book teaches that feelings of depression and anxiety come by individual’s thoughts. Cognitive Behavior Therapy is the most reliable form of help for people with anxiety, depression, and more.
This morning I continued to work on the inventory list. I found that the audio-visual production instructing me how to merge excel files did not even have the sound that I was worried about.
Last night I looked into a new Windows 10 platform. I like Windows 10's innovations. The new platform is Windows Mixed Reality. This will allow an individual to be productive in reality by using Microsoft and Windows applications while customizing their reality virtually. I like it because it would no longer confined my personal computing to a screen. I think that screens are not ergonomically functional and comfortable to humans. Maybe I just have bad posture. They currently cost about 500 dollars, which is affordable. Microsoft has been the leader of Augmented Reality. I differentiate mixed reality from virtual reality by the productivity of each reality. I believe that virtual reality is merely for entertainment as mixed reality is based on Windows programs that are productive in reality.
25 October 2017
Last night we attended a personal finance self-reliance class, and the next two weeks will be about debt. Jessica asked a couple days ago about purchasing a house. I said that she can choose anywhere to live. Saving up for a house in California is practically impossible with my budget. I don't want to live in a place that snows nor rains nearly 50% of the year; then, I realized my childhood goal could fit in while here. My childhood goal was to serve senior missions for as long as possible after retirement. Senior missionary service cost less than American standard cost of living. My wife asked about family. We can do family reunions in between every mission. We don't have to have a mortgage or purchase a house with my goals. I don't think any debt is necessary to live. You can justify it for a house, a car, or education; however, they will all be a headache or worry at one time. Jessica and I don't have any debt, so this lesson of the self-reliance class is not an issue for us.
This morning I was listening to 'When Panic Attacks" on Audible, and the second chapter describes depression, and Jessica definitely has depression. I will make sure that she listens and applies the book. Depression is misunderstood. A lot of people think that it is overwhelming feelings, but depressed people are plagued by thoughts that defeat them frequently. Thoughts beget an assortment of defeating feelings like hopelessness and worthlessness. Anxiety is tied to depression.
There are three types of anxiety and therapies. Anxiety may come from illogical thoughts, fears, and niceness. When an individual discovers their thoughts were illogical, the anxiety goes away. Exposure is a therapy for fear. Anxiety comes when people think and feel that they are in physical danger. This can be illogical or healthy. Niceness anxiety is the dismissal of contentious thoughts, conversations, and situations within their mind because the individual is afraid of conflict. The therapy for this anxiety is to have the individual express the contentious thought in order for the individual to gain trust in humanity. There is a whole slew of reasons for their illogical thoughts, and I can't go over them.
26 October 2017
I couldn't listen to the book today because I lost my Bluetooth headset this morning. Yesterday I added a new aspect to my daily report, giving the remaining stones to install. This week has been going by fast.
I think that I am finally getting over my cold. I just have a little runny nose.
27 October 2017
Last night we had the sister missionaries over for active members lessons. The spirit was present. The sister's lesson was led more by the spirit than the elder missionaries that visited us. The elders asked for feedback, and I gave them some. I don't think that I could give the sister’s advice when they came. We discussed the greatest miracles of the Book of Mormon. I said that it was the preservation of the plates of two civilizations through the generations for a millennium. The preservation of the plates underground for another millennium was a great miracle, and the protection of the Book of Mormon when it was unearthed and given to Joseph Smith as thousands of people sought the plates was another; however, God forbade Joseph Smith to show it to people except a few. Jessica said that the greatest miracle was Jesus visiting the people of the Nephite nation. She won the spiritual inspiration award because that was the topic of the lesson. We pondered the first words of Jesus Christ as he visited the people. They committed us to ponder why Jesus Christ spoke those concise words when he first visited the Nephites in 3 Nephi 11. The invitation is for you too.
28 October 2017
Today is Saturday. We have a lot of chores to do around the house, but we got an opportunity to drive an investigator to our ward trunk or treat from the sister missionaries. We were not well prepared, so we were iffy. We found costumes at Goodwill. I was the phantom of the opera, and Jessica is Christine.
The investigator that we picked up is named Jackie. She is from Hong Kong, so conversation came easily because I visited China for a few months. She is a freshman, attending Santa Clara University. She brought a dog with her that she has only had for a week, so that was unique. Jessica and I asked her about dogs. Our experience at the Trunk or Treat was great. A lot of people recognized our costumes easily. Growing up, Jessica and I were not great at participating in Halloween, but her passion for the holiday has led to some costumes that she is proud of. Many children walked to our car, and we gave a lot of candy away. I feel that we participated well. Jessica and I were in a rush and last minute preparations, and we bought a bag of Reese's without a basket. We were grateful that Jackie brought a basket. Jackie was able to walk around with the sister missionaries and her dog. She had an appointment for her dog, and she was going to leave with an Uber. Jessica insisted that we drive her, so we left after about fifty minutes of hanging out. We heard that there was soup and dinner, so we came back after. I think that we started a great relationship with Jackie. I am thinking about having her over for dinner, when we have the sister missionaries for dinner.
On Friday it was a normal day at work, but a crew mentioned that I might start developing carpal tunnel in my hands for carrying a laptop with me and working on it all day around the job site. I thought that it was ironic that I did not feel pain in my hands until a crew mentioned it.
Grandpa did another StoryWorth entry, but I have not transcribed it yet.
Jessica and I watched two movies this weekend. They were Spider-man: Homecoming and Igor. I enjoyed Igor more. I felt that most everything about Spider-man: Homecoming was shallow. The characters were not developed, and many situations were too coincidental like his friend, hanging out in his room, when it is pitch dark. Most of the relationships were shallow, and the characters of the Marvel series were taken for granted.
Igor was a little odd because the society was morbid and evil, so the themes were a little messed up. The Igor created life, "the first of which;" although, all of the other evil geniuses seemed to have created life. The moral of the story was good and unique, and I think that the story and characters were developed well. The animation style was very similar to Tim Burton, so that felt off.
I was able to listen more to the book "When Panic Attacks." I have been a little hesitant to write about the book's medication philosophy. The philosophy is this that anti-depression medication is a false medical practice fueled by the medical industry to maintain a billion dollar industry. The brain chemical imbalance theory is false. The diagnoses and measurement of an imbalance of chemicals in an individual's brain is impossible. Every other medical diagnoses is based on measurements before prescription, but anti-depression prescriptions are not based on prior patient blood samples or other measurements. Anti-depressant medication has little impact on people beyond the placebo.
Another thing that the book teaches that will bring insight into why depression and anxiety is not an imbalance of chemicals in an individual's brains nor can it be cured by thinking positively. Anxious and depressed people have self-defeating beliefs. People's beliefs and thoughts beget feelings. People with illogical and self-defeating thoughts and beliefs may have a hard time letting go of their beliefs. The book has a printout pdf form called a daily mood log. This will help individuals evaluate the legitimacy of their thoughts and beliefs. Neither I nor the author claim that anti-depressants are lacking scientific foundations from our opinion, and the author’s previous profession before cognitive therapy was pharmaceutical research and practice. He has the background to be trusted. David Burn, the author, does recognize medication can be combined with therapy fruitfully, but he does have a chapter dedicated to expressing the above philosophy in more detail than my paragraph.
Tonight Jessica and I attended the Religious Freedom Conference presided by Elder Rasband of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles. Religious Freedom is a non-partisan goal because “We claim the privilege of worshiping Almighty God according to the dictates of our own conscience, and allow all men the same privilege, let them worship how, where, or what they may.” Somehow religious freedom is being attacked. The conference likened it to a wildfire. I am not very political nor am I aware of current events as I used to; however, we need to protect each other's "privilege of worshiping Almighty God according to the dictates of our own conscience, and allow all men the same privilege, let them worship how, where, or what they may." A story was told of a novice volunteer firefighter. He studied hard to serve well. On his first opportunity to put out a fire with a team. The captain told him that his role is to sound an alarm if the fire is spreading to an adjacent warehouse. He was so anxious, worrying that his knowledge was not being applied that he left his post to double check his knowledge's application. When he returned to his post, he was horrified to see that the fire did spread to the adjacent building and the captain was fulfilling his post after his failure to perform. The novice was rebuked for neglecting his duty, telling him standing your post and blasting the fires in your area is most important. We too need to apply this to the field of religious freedom. If you sight an attack on religious freedom, stand up to it. Claim your religious freedom. The church has established a new website to help inform you what you can do and what religious freedom is about at religiousfreedom.lds.org.
30 October 2017
This morning I forgot to get a permit to enter an area of the building, so I got the Daily Reports before heading back to the office to get permits. Kevin, another Project Engineer, wanted to verify that our new plan for the change order that we have been working on would work, so I was not going back to the office only for a permit
I did some field measurements for the change order, finding the measurements were off from the new plans. Kevin asked me if it should fit. If it were my decision, I did not know what to say. He gave me more time to look over the plans. Kevin and I counseled, and he trusted my measurements, modifying the plan. It was a little stressful to decide, if the new plan would fit the as-builds.
I overestimated my performance again. Mondays are always a lot of work to catch up over the weekend. I got all my data, leaving the field before coming back to begin putting together my report at four o' clock, and I left work almost at six o' clock. I started counting all the stones remaining to install as part of my report, so that makes the report longer to prepare.
31 October 2017
This morning has been chill. I learned about panic attacks and cycling manic depression from "When Panic Attacks". Panic attacks are triggered from feelings. The thing that is triggered are thoughts of panic. People ironically actually can be in complete control of their body during a panic attack. They just think that they are losing control of their body. Panic attacks can be reduced and eliminated when they learn to control their thoughts. Panic attacks may feel like they come randomly; just as random as our thoughts. The author illustrated the understanding of panic attacks by a story. A sister would have panic attacks multiple times a week, and his treatment was not working. A highly effective treatment is "experimental". I may have the term wrong. He actually induced a panic attack, a display that they are not completely random, by thinking about the feelings that cause the panic attacks. She started to panic; thinking that she might die, pass out, have a heart attack, and more. It was a terrible panic attack, yet she can have a conversation with the therapist. He told her to stand up. Her fear of passing out was high; although, it is impossible since her heart was racing. Fainting comes from a reduced heart rate. The therapist felt compassion, but he couldn't let this fail as many other options have. She stood up, and she was fine. He told her to run in place, and she ran until she was exhausted. He told her to start doing jumping jacks. She had been panicking for several minutes by now. He convinced her to do jumping jacks, and the therapist made light of the situation, joking that she was going to die and have a heart attack. The patient started laughing, gaining control of herself. She realized that she can't die, pass out, or have a heart attack; which she feared. She learned that she can stop having a panic attack by standing up and doing jumping jacks. She never had an overwhelming panic attack after that session.
