7 November 2017
I skipped what I wrote Monday because I had negative thoughts in the morning. It is at the end of this entry, if you want to read a review of my apartment experience with Sequoia at La Valencia Apartments in Campbell, CA.
Jessica and I had a good family home evening last night. We completed the sister missionaries' commitment. Jesus Christ’s first words with the Nephite nation is a display of the importance of the church, baptism, repentance, and covenants because after introducing himself. He instructed on the proper method and doctrine of baptism after giving the priesthood authority to his disciples.
I think that I am getting sick again. I have a runny nose today.
I finally started doing something officially for my calling, contacting a district leader. I am going to begin scheduling appointments for personal priesthood interviews. The district leader confirmed that he would like a personal priesthood interview on Sunday.
Work is getting busy. An additional three areas are going to be added to my report. I reported on an additional areas this morning. I have to cover five areas now. I walked around for six hours yesterday. I only had to report on two area the past week or so. It has been chill.
I met another unique person. His name is Huitzilin. I think that he pronounced it as "we-it-ceiling". He is Mexican, but he changed his name to Huitzilin because he has Aztec ancestry. It is an Aztec name. We talked about returning to our roots, saying that I was considering moving to Thailand, but my parents thought that was crazy to give up our standard of living in the United States. Huitzilin said that he had a girlfriend that changed her name to an Aztec name too, and she oddly changed it back to her original name, when she got married to another guy. She changed her name for him apparently and not the principle of embracing ancestry.
8 November 2017
Last night Jessica and I went to the personal finance self-reliance class. We spoke about how to tackle debt with the snowball effect. In order to pay off debt, you need to live within your means first. The manual recommended to pay one hundred dollars more than the minimum payment. Choose between the account with the highest interest rate and the account with the lowest amount. You will save a lot more money if you pay off the higher interest rate first. Elder Holland recommends cutting up your credit cards. This effort to eliminate debt requires diligence and perseverance.
Yesterday I finished listening to "When Panic Attacks". It talks about the recovery process. Guess the probability that a depressed or anxiety person will relapse. It is a 100% chance. This should not be disappointing. It is a sign that we are human. The greater thing is that the cognitive therapy method that an individual overcomes anxiety and depression the first time will work during the relapse. The individual will feel worse than ever being convinced that the therapy was a fluke. The author recommends that you prepare ahead of time because the situation is predictable. What is a relapse? Feeling anxious or depressed for an hour, hours, and days? It is not a period of time that defines it. It is the return of the anxiety and depression, and it will not go away after a month or so. Why wait for a month though? Just get over it as soon as possible. People can be on guard of their thoughts and situations.
This morning I got an email of appreciation from the general contractor's stone project manager. Since I have been continually expanding my abilities. He was impressed when I reported the progress and remaining work to do on the entire building, which he has not been able to do with his project engineers. If my job does not work out with Columbia Stone Inc, I might be able to talk to him.
I am wondering about my runny nose. If a common cold is an infection of the throat, is a runny nose an infection in the nose?
9 November 2017
I decided to listen to "When Panic Attacks" until Jessica gets over her anxiety and depression.
I finished my rounds in the building early this morning. I am usually eating lunch on campus, but I am back at the jobsite trailer. I have a meeting at 2 pm, so I go out early to not get rushed.
This morning scripture study was profound. My favorite Book of Mormon prophet is Jacob. Jacob chapter four verse eight was the impressive scripture. "Behold, great and marvelous are the works of the Lord. How unsearchable are the depths of the mysteries of him; and it is impossible that man should find out all his ways. And no man knoweth of his ways save it be revealed unto him; wherefore, brethren, despise not the revelations of God." We can't know the fullness of truth without a relationship with God. He will tell you what is true, if you ask with a sincere heart and real intent to live up to the truth that you know. At stake conference a goal of life was explained. We have knowledge of truth and our personal standards. There is a gap between what we know that we should do and what we do. Each day we should seek to reduce that gap.
10 November 2017
Last night Jessica and I decided on our new budget for November.
I write during my lunch break as you may recall, but I have been procrastinating to fill out my self-evaluation form for my lunch with Mike Twiss next week. I should fill it out instead of writing in my journal now.
11 November 2017
Yesterday we started installing veneer in a new section of the building, and it messed up my day. I didn't start counting the remaining stone to install until 3:30 PM. I have to count the remaining stones to install in four sections. I did not leave until 5:30 PM. The conclusion of my day felt off. Fridays are usually chill.
We are visiting my parents because I wanted a haircut before my lunch with Mike Twiss. I looked shaggy on Friday because I didn't give myself time to shave the past few days, and my hair was long. I need to maintain my integrity as a clean shaven man better. For you to know how busy that I was in the morning yesterday, I made a Storify post, breakfast, and lunch. I also read scriptures after cooking rice and bread for Jessica and I. Sometimes I let my hair go ragged. One time, when I was on my internship with Delta Stone Products, I found a coupon for a haircut in a pay-stub. I believe that they were saying that I need a haircut. At the end of the work day yesterday, I told Audriana about my concerns, feeling about my appointment with Mike Twiss is like a job interview. I wrote about my concern on Monday, which I put at the end of the post, expressing the feeling that my job could easily be discontinued; however, Audriana said that three month reviews are chill, and I should not be concerned for my employment.
12 November 2017
Mom has been trying to give the property of their sons from their youth back to them, so her residence is not so cluttered. This includes intellectual property. One intellectual property that I have been trying to express to Jessica for a long time is a child development theory. I forgot the name of the theory, and I could only explain it partially. I understand the theory, but I could not explain it with validity without the citing the source of the theory. The theorist is Erik Erikson. It teaches that child rearing can indicate the psychological path of the individual. This is not completely random. It has to do with the book of "When Panic Attacks" and my study of depression and anxiety. This is not from the book though. I found a hand out from a long time ago in a mess of my old stuff, explaining the Erikson's child development theory. There is a negative path and a positive path in an individual's development from childhood. The foundations is trust and mistrust of humanity taught in the home in the many forms of education from speech, experience, and example. I believe that the trust and mistrust of humanity is the foundation of anxiety and depression too. Let's see the description of the two paths.
There are eight stages in most people's lives in this development, and their age ranges are the following: birth to one year, one year to three years, three years to six years, seven to eleven years, teenage years, young adult years, middle aged years, and older adult years.
People, who are taught the trust humanity and themselves, obtain autonomy, meaning that they are self-sufficient in their first few years of life. They take initiative in the next three years of their lives, seeking more abilities and activities. They are productive and busy between in age of seven and eleven. They feel an identity during their teenage years. In their young adult years, they have healthy intimate relationships. They maintain productivity throughout their middle ages. There life's efforts turns to a life of integrity.
When children are raised to mistrust themselves and humanity, they have negative thoughts, leading to feelings of shame and doubt during their first few years of life. They feel guilty because their parents may overreact to their actions. They think that they are inferior, not being able to do anything well in their pre-teen years. They struggle figuring out their role in life in their teenage years, leading to isolation in their young adult years. They are stagnant throughout their lives, feeling despair in their elderly years.
Can you see how anxiety is connected easily to this theory? Anxiety is not a mental illness; although, genetics may have part of it. Everyone can switch to the other path of development, if they learn to trust themselves and humanity. I am not saying that I am on the good side or the bad side of development. I probably leaned towards the bad side in my youth, and slightly on the good side currently. Parents should think about how they are raising their children from their infancy. Are they teaching them to be autonomous or dependent on them for comfort and other things? Are you teaching them to trust themselves or mistrust themselves? Are you teaching your children to trust or mistrust humanity?
I did get a haircut from mom. Trevor turned on My Hero Academia while I was getting my haircut. I was surprised at the content of the arc because previous to that time there was no gore or suggestive scenes, but the arc where the villains seek to kill All Might in the USJ was gory and suggestive with some nudity. I have some experience with anime and manga. Authors usually have a consistent moral standard, and sometimes it changes. I don't like authors where their moral standards are not constant because we are subjected to view their imagination. A good imagination can be appreciated, but a perverse imagination should not be tolerated according to my integrity. I will not watch the next season because the author's moral standard is lowering in the first season; therefore, I can't trust it.
Another thing that I grabbed from the house is my old pair of nunchucks. I thought that my mom threw them away. I heard more of the story why I was given the pair. Justin Reimers gave me the pair of nunchucks. He was a martial arts instructor, and I believe that he currently is. Justin use to teach my youth’s priesthood class. I mentioned once that I wanted a pair to learn the discipline. Dad said that it was to be encouraging at one time, and yesterday he said that it was a reward for accomplishing something.
We hosted the missionaries to dinner, and my mother revealed more about the nature of my father. She said that he had troubles continuing lessons with the missionaries because they wanted him to quit drinking and smoking, and Chanai, the name of my grandfather, encouraged her to take his place in the appointments. She thought that the lessons were strange when she first listened to them, but she accepted the invitation to learn English from the missionaries one day a week. She was attending English classes in the evening, and that was the reason that she never witnessed him in the missionary lessons; however, she did receive the gospel. I suspect that Chanai was humble enough to listen to many of the lessons of the Gospel of Jesus Christ, but he did not have the motivation to live the Word of Wisdom. I love my grandpa because he inspired me to join the industry of construction, since he was an architect; although, I never met him.
6 November 2017
I woke up to a cold morning. I did not just wake up once. The insulation of my apartment does not seem to retain heat well. I had to rewrite this paragraph because negative thoughts have messed up my morning. I have been feeling off. We have stayed in a Sequoia apartment complex before, and the previous one is designed well with quality finishes.
My apartment currently was recently remodeled, and it does not take a construction eye to see that the remodel was lousy. The paint job is bad. The new quartz counters are not level, and water slides off it. The doors look like they have been through a murder scene in the apartment as the framing were broken through where the locks are. We recently got a notice for bed bugs, and you may recall that termites were confirmed to be in our wall. When we first were taking showers orange stuff would come out of the walls because the caulking was not done well. Our bathroom doesn't even have a fan. The apartment is very dark too. We need to buy a lamp for our bedroom because there is no lights in the room. I was going to not write about the negative things about the apartment, but I did. This is what Sequoia can offer me for $2461 per month in Campbell, CA; plus, there is a few extra expenses that I have never had to pay for previously that goes a long with the rent. That is my review of La Valencia Apartments in Campbell, CA. We went with it mainly because we needed to find an apartment. Looking through it at first, I knew that it was going to be dark, but a lot more issues have come up.
I was trained to paint apartments during my first winter in Oregon, and I was told not to worry about quality. Just make sure to cover all the surfaces, and don't make a mess. If an individual paints fast, he can paint three apartments in one day, earning about 400 dollars each apartment.
I think that the negative thoughts came from having a hard time sleeping and the instability of my job. I feel like I am going to have another job interview with Columbia Stone Inc, and they might let me go because they don't need me.
13 November 2017
Yesterday after church I had an Elders Quorum Presidency Meeting. It is a little weird to be in the meeting, not being part of the presidency as a counselor. I have heard of powerful secretaries. I have been sending some emails to accomplish what I need to, and they seem to be effective. I made a form for the home teaching companionships to fill out. A companionship filled one out already. I only sent it to one companionship, so email has a 100% return rate.
I finished my rounds very quickly this morning at work. Walking back to the job site trailer, I ran into a crew, eating lunch, and one named Oswaldo gave me a Coca-Cola from Mexico. I was a little leery of the ingredients, but I found that they are more natural than the American Coca-Cola because it has sugar instead of high fructose corn syrup.
A QAQC guy from Prime Electric is my next door neighbor at my apartments and the job site trailer, sitting right behind me. His name is Derek. I have inspired him to ride a bike to work, and he finally purchased one recently. He bought it used. It sounds like an assembly kit because it is very old. He needs to reassemble it. The person selling it to him said that it is a uniquely quality bicycle because it was made in Japan. It is a Fuji bike, and the company started manufacturing their bikes in Taiwan supposedly thirty years ago.
I looked into finding the pdf for "When Panic Attacks", the book. I could not find it anywhere, so I ended up emailing the author. In the self-reliance class last week, we pondered the idea of taking responsibility for yourself, so I reminded her of that, asking her to take responsibility for overcoming her own anxiety and depression.
I also started practicing nunchucks last night. I am a cardiovascular exercise guy, I have thought that the practice of nunchaku can be a cardiovascular experience of the upper body. I started watching some YouTube tutorial videos. It is interesting, and it is not has hard as people think.
