January 6, 2014

One crazy thing that happened last week that rattled the family's cages is that as Trevor, my little brother, has been visiting Bolivia, he changed his profile picture on Facebook to one of him with a girl assumed to be in front of the temple, holding hands. I am happy that I am publishing this now because I have no idea if the Facebook social network will be popular in the future. I don't believe anyone had even a hint that he had a developing relationship with a girl, but everyone accepted quickly that they are boyfriend and girlfriend.

It did not rattle the cages of my parents much, which surprised, my older brother, Thomas, but he and I were concerned. Thomas even called me, and he rarely calls. I thought that I had a close relationship with Trevor, but I apparently did not. Some people are super private, but I felt like Trevor may have less trust in me and the family than I thought.
I believe that in a family everything should be discussed for good understanding and relations among each member and the wisdom of the family to abide within every member of the family and their relationships. A friend told me that I am over-thinking it, but it denied my expectation of a brotherly relationship. I have blessed my brother's life a lot. When my brother came home from his mission, I made sure to be there for him, imparting my wisdom to him. My older brother did not do this for me, and my life has been developing slowly.
A friend did not understand why I was hassling my little brother, trying to figure out what is going on, and I have explained some of my reasons. My friend asked what I meant by the family's wisdom should abide in every member and relationship. Oftentimes people don't apply the opinion of others in romantic relationships because they feel like they have to learn everything on their own, and they believe that the relationship will succeed, not wanting to compromise their relationship for another person's opinion. Why should everyone need to make the same mistakes? I explained that everything should be discussed in a family, so we can counsel with each other.
One thing needs to be protected, and that is the choice of each individual. Everyone should not feel pressure to do anything, and they should be given the respect to let the individual to make their own choices despite the wisdom shared. Even if individuals feel pressure, you can always claim your choice. Latter-day saints know this word as agency. The freedom to choice is given to everyone, and you can always claim your agency. Please never feel that you have no options. I hate it in movies and shows, where characters always say that there is no other choice. The War in Heaven is usually understood to be one over agency.
I was disappointed. I tell Trevor everything, but he leaves me in the dark.