Chapter 5
My baby was 6 pounds at birth and now, four months later, weighs about 9 pounds. The doctor said his weight is in the 20th percentile. My husband and I are both large people so I was a little surprised. I’m breastfeeding and have not yet introduced any supplements or solids. Should I be concerned? Most of the growth he has experienced seems to be in his head. Does the head grow at the same pace as the rest of the body? If it’s because of the brain, why does it grow so much in early childhood? After all, he hasn’t learned that much yet.
Dear Abbey,
A child in the 20th percentile is not one that you should be concerned with because you are providing everything readily. The earliest that I would recommend you to begin feed your child addition food is at the age of 6 months.
I would exhort you to trust nature more, for there should be nothing wrong with your child. Your child was born with 25 percent of the weight of his brain, and it should triple in weight by age 2. The growth of the brain to be able to accomplish the cognitive grow that you have referred to is so great the head and brain is closely monitored to have this growth that you are observing.
I like that you want to know what is good for your child.
Sincerely
Alex
My newborn daughter seems to sleep all the time. Sometimes she wakes up just long enough to eat. Is that normal? The worst part about it is that she is more likely to be awake at night than during the day. My friend says I should not let her start any bad habits and should be insistent on a schedule where she eats during the day and sleeps at night. I’ve tried to let her cry it out a few times, but it seems to be hard on all of us. Also, she seems to sleep better when she sleeps with us. Is this OK? Is it dangerous for her to sleep with us? Lastly, is it better if she sleeps on her stomach or her back?
Dear Abbey,
Do you really believe that man knows what is best for a child, ignoring the natural tendencies of child? Children will adapt to normal life. Your child wants to live like you, but it should not be forced. This development can be delayed as long 4 or 5 years, if you seek to develop a “mature child’s habits” of eating during the day and sleeping at night from the beginning of her live. When children are able to adapt to life at their own pace this maturation is much more quickly to a more normal sleeping and eating pattern.
Sleeping with your child is a controversial action. Sleeping with your child makes life most easy for the child and you; however, it is also dangerous for the child’s life. A soft bed, blankets, and sleeping in the wrong position are situations that are life- threatening. You can possibly crush the child, when you move in your sleep. Newborn children should be placed to sleep near their parents not on the bed and on their back. These are the most official recommendations. If you want the best of both worlds, you would have to sleep without sheets on a hard mattress. The professional advice is that you should not sleep with your daughter.
Sincerely,
Alexander Hicken
I’m worried about my infant son. I think something is wrong with his eyes. They don’t seem to be connected right. One eye seems to look one direction and the other eye another direction. Also, he doesn’t look at things unless they are really close. Does it sound like he has vision problems? I’m in the dark on where his other senses should be also. What should I look for? I do, however, think his fine motor skills are doing fine because he has a strong grasp and will already move his legs in a stepping fashion if I hold him up so he can pretend to walk. My husband just thinks it’s reflexes, but I thought those had more to do with sucking. How old are they before they sit up, crawl, or begin to walk?
Dear Abbey,
Your child is mortal. He will not be born with his eyes working properly. This is normal. Your child should have developed binocular vision as he turns 14 weeks of age. Binocular vision is the normal eye development that you are looking for.
Concerning the gross development unto walking, I encourage you not to force this development. Children seek to push their limit on their own. Your attempts to accelerate this growth can be harmful. There is a natural reflect to move the legs in the walking movement if held in that position. You can see growth every three months. Your son with be able to sit comfortably in your arms or supported as he has lived his third month. At his sixth month they should be able to sit on their own will. The ninth month is when they begin practicing standing, and an average child walks at his first birthday.
Your child is developing well.
Alex
Chapter 6
My infant son used to put anything in his mouth, but now he seems to be more selective. He won’t even take a bottle unless the nipple is a certain shape. And his rooting reflex seems to be gone. Is it normal for children to become picky? My friend says it’s tied to his cognitive development. If so, what other indicators can I look for to chart his cognitive progress? Are there certain milestones I should look for? How can they really tell if children are learning, since children don't have the language skills to express themselves?
Dear Abbey,
Your child has learned to habitually drink from the nipple that you have bought for him. This shows that he has adapted, developing a habit. Habits are extremely hard to brake in babies; especially when it satisfies his need for comfort. Your son likes its pacifier, and he is going to give it up. This happens after the first month or so. There are progressive steps to the cognitive development of your child.
There are the primary, secondary, and tertiary circular reaction stages of development in the theory of cognition, which Jean Piaget put together. There are many thoughts concerning the stages of cognitive growth of children, but I will inform you of Piaget’s concepts, since he is the figure-head of the theory.
Your child is in the primary circular reaction stage, but the secondary circular reaction stage will begin around be 4th month of mortality, approaching the Tertiary circular reaction stage by his 1st birthday, and this stage will last one year. They are called circular reaction to be self-explanatory. Children continually need to do the same thing over and over to effectively understand life and develop their brain. There are 2 steps in each stage connected in development for each stage.
After turning reflects into habits in the first stage, the second stage seeks after more memory. They make experiences of joy for themselves, trying to lengthen these experiences. They may grab at your hair over and over again. In the second step, children have a goal in their acts. After they learn the natural reactions to their actions, they attempt to choose and anticipate the fruits of their acts. They may act to begin a game that you have played with them.
After your sons first year of age, they become “little scientists” according to the terminology of Piaget. Since they are coming to understand life, they continue to try to understand the world, becoming more independent. An example of a “little scientist” is that your son may wonder how the toothpaste in the tube does not just fall out, so he will realize that squeezing it out make the substance come out of the tube.
In the last six months of the Tertiary Circular Reaction Stage, they can predict by cognitive processes that will happen without experimentation with simple problem solving skills. They begin to put two and two together. For example they realize that pulling the tail of a cat and the reaction is constant; therefore, he may quit pulling the cats tail.
These are the cognitive developments of the first couple years of a child. I would not worry about whether you child is learning; unless, his development does not match these average cognitive developments because your child is adapting to live, which is a sign of intelligence, making millions of mental connections. Have fun and enjoy your son.
Sincerely
Alexander Hicken
How old are children before they learn to speak in full sentences? I know children all over the world learn to speak their own language, but are the process for learning language similar for all children? My husband thinks learning English takes children longer than most of the other languages. What are some of the key milestones in learning language that I might look for? Does it help or hurt if I speak baby talk to my baby? My son is almost 18 months old and hardly says anything, and when he does speak, it’s usually just a single word. Is that typical? I would appreciate any ideas you might have for helping me teach my child to speak.
Dear Abbey,
Children’s language develops late beginning in the second half of the child’s second year of life. Since your child in 18 months old, just beginning learning how to speak is on pace of excellent cognitive development. Your child can speak sentences as early as his second birthday. It is amazing that he will learn how to speak with a great number of words in just six months. Soon your child will have a vocabulary that is exploding, learning up to one hundred words a month. These are some of the greatest averages seen. You seem to have high expectations for the learning of our language of your child.
There is a similar development process for all children; although, your husband is right the strict grammar expectations of English makes the learning cognitively more difficult; therefore, slower.
Children can connect an object to sounds they not be the real word pronounced, but they can have a few words to speak at his first birthday.
Babbling and these relations begin about six months into his first year of life, lasting about three months. Children begin communicating by their fourth month of age; other-than, the year mark to learn words, the slow development of vocabulary between, the explosion of vocabulary in the eighteenth month, and the sentence formulations at his second birthday, you will see that your son will be able put two words together when he is about 21 months old.
The relations that can be developed with babbling is developing of a great relationship especially as you come to know the words that are not pronounced well, but they have been made with connections subjects. You could have begun a communicating relationship with your child before he was six months old. This deep relationship of communicating can be developed even before he is born. Reading to him in your womb can lay a good foundation for language learning. Keep a good level of talking in your household. You alone don’t teach language to your child. He is always learning.
I am grateful to hear of your care and expectations for your child.
Alexander Hicken
Yesterday I had such a fun time playing with my baby. It was almost like we were dancing. I'd smile and then she'd smile. I'd make a noise and then she'd make a noise. We played the same game today, and she acted like she had never done it before. Is it normal for babies to have such a poor memory? Are there certain things that they are more likely to remember? Are there things that I can do to help my baby’s memory? Come to think of it, I can barely remember anything from my own preschool years. Could it be genetic?
Dear Abbey,
It is sad that your children will not remember the great love an time that you spend with your children; however, there are two types of memory that you can play with. They are named implicit and explicit.
Implicit memory is the ability to recall something, but it is dependent on external source. They cannot remember something on their own; unless, it is presented to him. Should we give up since they cannot remember on their own will?
This ability is called explicit memory, which has been found to be developed cognitively as early as six months of age. Children may not remember what happened a couple weeks ago unless reminded until they reach the age of three months. Reminder sessions are can help your children remember observable actions. What can they remember, and what do you want them to remember without explicit memory abilities? Your endeavor to understanding of your child’s remembrance makes me think.
What is most important in raising children? What should we make as their earliest memories? How early are these earliest memories? Is this important? Why? How can we make happen? How will this bless your child? Is messing with this bad to have a cause in raising your child from the beginning?
How important is the cause of intellectual development? Is getting ahead of the majority of people what you want for your children? Is this an expression of love to accelerate the development of your child? Is this what is best for children?
Thank you for your letter
Alexander Hicken
Chapter 7
My daughter used to go to anyone, but now she cries and acts scared of almost anyone outside of our family. I'm worried about it because I need to go back to work soon, and I'm afraid that child care will be a disaster. She was scared of Santa and wanted nothing to do with him. Is there a certain age when stranger wariness and separation anxiety are more common? My husband believes my own anxiety over leaving her is contributing to the problem. Is that possible?
Dear Abbey,
I assume that your daughter has barely past her first birthday, for at this time with all the acquired they intensify anew at this year; furthermore, your anxiety can have a little effect on your child. Your nature is reflected in your child.
Thank you for your reference in your worries,
Alexander Hicken
Take care
How old are babies before they experience fear or other emotions? It seems to me that fear is a learned emotion. Are all emotions tied to cognitive development? When my daughter looks in the mirror, she acts as if a stranger is looking back at her. How old are children before they become more self-aware? Is self-awareness required for other emotions to develop?
Dear Abby,
I don’t think emotions can be learned from what I understand. The multiplicities of emotions are obtained upon cognitive developments. It’s interesting that you try self-awareness to emotions. It makes sense that you tie human relations to our emotions. A lot is dependent on it; in fact, self-awareness is foundational to many emotions. Contentment is inborn upon comfort. The joy of laughter is often obtained by her 3rd month. In this time, the joy of human relations opens up a new means of interaction and life. Anger often comes between 4 – 8 months of age.
A couple fears are developed about the time of her first birthday, but it can be as early as her ninth month. There is a feel of new social interaction and new sudden situations.
Then you beloved self-awareness is developed 6 months later, which will come with pride, embarrassment, and shame.
You are a good thinker, but I beat that it is hard for you to find the knowledge that you want to learn. Tell me what you learn. Talk to you soon.
Alexander Hicken
I've heard that if you are too strict with babies it can cause problems with their psychosocial development. Is it true that they can become fixated on certain issues or stages if you're not sensitive enough or don't give them enough freedom? What happens if they become fixated? Are most of the theories in agreement about how to respond to young children? My brother says it's just a bunch of psycho mumbo-jumbo that is unsupported by research; any thoughts?
Dear Abby,
Child development is a science, and theories need a lot of evidence to hold status of its name. The main theory that I think that you are referring to is Freud holds the Psychoanalytic theory, saying that there are two sexually drives to come settled with to have healthy development. The first of which is the body part of the mouth, driving the child to breastfeed, for this is fundamental to a child’s life. The second has to do with the anus. If one is forced to wean of breastfeed or begin toilet training too soon, there are fixations on these pleasure points. The people that are fixed on their oral development are found eating, drinking, chewing, biting, or talking excessively; additionally, those that are denied the personal right to settle with their anal needs are seen to be seek deep control of every aspect of their life, since they were unable to choose the time of their learning of how to learn for themselves.
Erikson is another Psychoanalytic theorist spoke of the need of the individual choice saying the other characteristic developed is a self-doubt.
The cognitive theory holds that the way that you raise a child is the perceived norm for a human relationship, but these norms can be moldable, working models, a standard for their relationship. Other close relationships can change their working model for relationships.
These are the theories held to be true by developmentalists.
I hope that this answers your question
Alexander Hicken
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