February 12, 2014

I am in catch up mode on things that I want to write about in my journal. Sunday the second of this month was profound. I have two things that I want to write about from that day. They are my greatest fear and the drought in California; additionally, I will write about two great friends and experiences that I had with them afterward.
As I was serving in the initiatory of the Temple, I felt the great blessings of the ordinance distill on my soul. Godly sorrow enveloped my soul for a transgression from last Sunday was committing my greatest fear. The greatest fear is being overbearing. I was under a spell of committing these acts in my last area of my mission, and I regret it, giving myself to much thought of the concept. Overbearance can be understood as trying to force people to an action by any form of communication or situation. Another way I understand overbearance is the revealing of knowledge before they are ready to receive it. Overbearance destroys trust. The communication within a relationship, where overbearance is a habit of one or both is usually not fruitful. Overbearance also makes people decide on things prematurely. When you deny someone's trust especially as a representative of something such as the church, your family, or an identity, restoring that trust is hard. I wish that I can make restitution for my overbearing actions on my mission, for I don't even know if my last observation is true. The overbearing act that I committed last Sunday was thought to be an act of greater faith, for an online missionary committed me to suggest ten of my friends to be his friend on Facebook, letting them talk about the restored gospel. I wanted to give him good referrals that are informed about the situation and willing to investigate the church, so I thought that I should ask all my nonmember and less active friends, if they would like to speak with missionaries of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. An old high school classmate said that he preferred not to receive my spam as I was obliging all of my friends to receive an invitation to receive the missionaries. I wrote a long letter that many people did not understand in a Facebook message. I believe that it was overbearing. Not many people think that it is okay to send a private email to all your friends obligating them to make a decision on the most important thing in mortality. Facebook messages are a little more intimate too because they are usually from your dearest friends. When I realized my transgression, I went back to apologize for inviting them to learn of the restored gospel incorrectly. I hope that I did not cause any person to make any pre-mature decisions about the church.
The drought in California has recovered a little bit. It only rain a few times the past couple years. Many religious groups have done rituals to get some rain to no avail; however, the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints has fasted for rain on the first Sunday of February, and rain came that same day. It is raining at this moment, so it has sustained a little; although, it did not rain all last week. It is Saturday night, the fifteenth of February. When we began to pray about the drought, a YSA sister, namely Anya Salden, prayed as though the blessing depended on our faith. I thought to myself; what does our actions have to do with it raining? I figured that God is running the earth and what nature does. I learned that man needs to be stewards of the earth with God. I have a good testimony of prayer, and I believe that God answers them.
Okay. Now I will write about a couple of my good friendships. I believe that it is most important to defend truth and virtue without overbearance; of course. A friend of mine said that she had a full week, practicing modeling, photo shoots, acting, and other celebrity stuff. I was so surprised, for she barely turned eighteen. I asked about the fashion that she wears, hoping to see her in some photographs. When she said that she was uncomfortable and ashamed of the pictures that they were taking of her. I had to do everything that I can to defend her virtue. She felt that she was transgressing the Law of Chastity, saying that she wanted to quit from the beginning that she signed a year long contract. She said that she tried to quit a few times, but they forced her to honor her contract. Her colleagues shared with her fear, saying if she quits she might be put into prison. I knew that the media production agency were practicing illegal procedures. My friend said that she went to the police station, but they didn't do anything. She believes that the producer may have bribed them or have done something of the sort. I encouraged her to tell her parents, but she was too ashamed, fearing their judgements. After contacting child protection agencies, I received no serious response from them. A conversation with my friend inspired her to trust my confidence in parental love. Her father nearly did not believe that she worked as a model, actor, and performer, but he bailed her out of the situation. He confronted the producer, and he went from exploiting young teenagers to a coward, saying that he would only let her go, if he does not expose his operations. I wanted to take it apart by my own means, but my inquiry of his operations progressed too slow to insist. I wanted to know what he is guilty of before going after him.
My second friend that I wanted to write about was one that I spammed. You can see your true friends from their support in your mistakes, and he was one. His name is Leonel Covarrubias. I ran with him in high school track and cross country. He is very talented, and he said that he was going after the high school mile record. I left before he reached his peak speed, running 4:37. I ran 4:43 as my personal record, but my focus was not in the mile. He even said that universities were following him, but he quit. When we hung out, we planned to go on a run. I was surprised to see him at first because he grew very tall. He said that I look the same, but my muscle tone is not as thick. I told him that it was because I did not do push ups and pull ups religiously anymore. Leonel's personality maintains his greatness. He is hilarious, and it was good to hear his humor again. We had a good friendship in high school while my classmates can be seen as impatient with his immaturity. Leonel never received the potential university running recruitment and possible scholarships because he wanted to get big like a football player; however, he is an ectomorph, so it is impossible for him to build a lot of muscle because his body built. It was great to catch up with him. I could write more things that I am proud of him, but I think that this has been personal enough.