Jessica and I's goals over the vacation was to get a job, an engagement ring, and permission to marry from Jessica's father. Jessica and I are very open with each other, so she basically knows everything. We openly decided on her engagement ring, and I had her support giving me the time to talk to her father about marrying her.
My grandparents actually took us around shopping for rings in Utah. We were not impressed by the selection that we saw there. We went shopping in the mall in Beaverton, and Jasmine was with us. She went to get her eyebrows fixed, and he went shopping for rings. I was surprise that Jasmine was done with her eyebrow appointment in like ten minutes. It felt like five, but I don't want to exaggerate. It was kind of funny because when we were guiding her to find us. We could see her looking for us, and she did not even consider that we were in the ring shop ring besides her. She was a little confused. Jessica found a perfect ring, and we bought it the next day. It was her birthday, and I was asked if I chose to do find the ring together on this day on purpose. I said no. They congratulated us on our engagement; although, the way that we bought the ring may not be traditional. We are not engaged yet.
My philosophy on engagements is this. An engagement is the period of time, where you plan the marriage. I told this to my older brother, and he said that some people get engaged in order to tell everyone that they are exclusive for each other. I think that the exclusive period of a relationship is called dating steadily. Couples have so much to prepare for before engagement. Couples should work them out before the marriage happens, so the transition is not shocking. Some things to consider are money, philosophy, family, and more.
Jessica's father keeps himself very busy, so finding the time to talk was a little awkward. I probably did it too casually. I did not want to call him, or send him a message. I wanted to naturally find private time to speak to him. This natural time was the time in which he drove me to the Bleak's house in Oregon. I asked him about how his training was that day, and he spoke the entire time on the first ride home about how great Primerica is. I asked him about talking about marrying Jessica, when we arrived. He said that he expected to have this conversation, and he has been preparing thoughts. I tried to set up an appointment for the next day, but he was too busy to give me a firm time. After the whole experience, I think that he was deflecting the conversation, for the time did not come up the next day, leaving me to talk to him on the ride home again. He talked again about Primerica. This was the only time to have the conversation. This is why I think that he was deflecting the conversation. I don't even think that he was thinking or preparing much for our conversation. I think that he was thinking the one thought since the beginning of our relationship, and that is Jessica should not marry the first person that she has ever dated, which is the situation that we are in. I don't have control over that; unless, I let her date around. What is the logic behind letting her date around, seeing other guys, when we have the greatest relationship that I have ever seen before together? It is playing with her heart. The conversation was brutal. It seemed like he never even considered another option. He drilled me with a very corporate philosophy, saying Do you hire the first person that applies to your job? Do you decide to go the one university without considering any other? He tried to manipulate the conversation to make it obvious. I am one that ponders after the experience. Most business are small businesses and many do hire this way, hiring the first person that applies. He cited a prophet that there is no soulmates. He asked me what gives me an advantage in finding jobs in my plan to construction management, when I graduate. Do I have a guaranteed job? Very few people have guaranteed jobs two years ahead of their graduation from a university. The conversation was useless. He finished by saying "You are a good kid." as I left. I was left distraught. I don't have anything against him, but as I said our conversation was brutal.
The next day I took the train, which is called Max, with Jessica and her mother. The time in the train was great because we could talk about the situation. Jessica revealed that her father spoke to her after our conversation, and after a while on the train, I said to Jessica "I don't know what to do." because her father did not give me permission. I broke down in tears before I could explain what my bewilderment was. She understood what we were talking about. I asked her to reveal what her father told her before I say what happen to me. She said that her father would prefer that she dates around, but she could marry me. He wants her to be happy, and I am a great man. I did not reveal what he said to me because she said that we have achieved our three goals, and we could resume our life together.
All of the other experience that we had together on our tour around Utah, California, and Oregon was wonderful. I met Jessica's aunt and Jessica's cousins because they picked us up at the conference center at Salt Lake from our bus ride, driving us for me to meet the architect. The architect had me come into work the following week. Jessica's cousins were a rambunctious and loud, but they accepted me as family. Our time together was suppressed because the children played video games. Jessica got a haircut during our visit. We were thinking about staying the night; then, the entire family could visit Heber City. We decided to drive to Heber that night though, so our time together was limited.
We had a wonderful time, visiting my grandparents in Heber City. We had time to play with Eve and Ezra. We walked around the block and played some board games. We were unable to arrange for Jessica to stay at another person's house. Our standard is that we sleep in other people's houses, when we go on trips with each other to avoid the appearance of evil.
In California, it was a tight two days with my family. We arrived on Saturday night. Jessica stayed with the Walch family, since Elizabeth Walch kind of grew up with Jessica's father. On Sunday, we went to my family ward; then, we went to see the redwoods. I was disappointed that they manned the park. We had to pay about 10 dollars to get in.
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