My life has been very busy since I wrote in my journal last. Jessica and I were married on the 19th of March 2016 in the Portland Temple. We waited until the week before the Spring Semester started to do our open houses in Capitola, California and Heber City, Utah. We were surprised that our first apartment was not furnished when we arrived. The semester was very hard on Jessica. I finally got most that I have been involved with ACMS, the Architecture and Construction Management Society, going to network with general contractors in a golfing event and Portland. I interviewed with a few companies. One interview got me a job for the fall semester. My semester was chill, but there was a culture developed in my estimating class of cheating, which I had to repent of. I am now in Oregon. We came here early because I wanted to go see my friend perform in his rock band. We are on vacation this summer. I will not be working because this year is the 50th anniversary of the Latter-day Saint mission in Thailand. We are going to visit there for a month.
Our approach to the marriage planning for our wedding was influenced by Jasmine, Jessica's sister. Jasmine's marriage came so fast. It was very stressful on Mercedes, Jessica's mother. Jessica and I didn't want that to happen to her twice in a row, so we hired a wedding decorator. Jessica's parents barely scrap by each month, and Mercedes insisted on obtaining a loan. I would have preferred that we lived within our means, but she has always lived beyond the family’s means to provide for Jasmine and Jessica. Jessica wants a good wedding reception, and Mercedes justified it with the loan. The loan was not sufficient for our ideas, so my parents paid for about half of the reception expenses. I don't know if the loan is better for Mercedes because we were planning the wedding on our own, but the planning period was less stressful for her.
Jessica is very indecisive, and decisions would not be made if I didn't have an opinion. We were talking with the wedding decorator for way to long accomplishing very little, entertaining her ideas. Jessica is like most girls, imagining a most wonderful wedding reception. My opinion was to go thrifty, yet stylish. I designed our wedding cake and invitations. I let Jessica put in her input as long as possible, but she never decided on anything decoratingwise. We did most of the arrangements. Mercedes participated, but we guided it.
We wanted hors-d'oeuvre to be served because we could not afford to serve dinner to everyone, and we wanted to embrace Jessica's Colombian heritage especially because the main reason that we choose to have the wedding in Oregon was to have the natural dance environment of her Colombian background to manifest; therefore, we choose to have Colombian food catered. This also avoided much of the cooking stress; although, Mercedes still cooked, preparing additional food. Foodwise; I believe that her additional food contribution was ill-conceived. We purchased small plates for hors-d'oeuvre, but the additional food main the reception feel like we have food for a dinner. After the wedding Mercedes complained that people were taking double the plates, when they served themselves food, but I believe that the guests grabbed double the plates because we had double the food that we were to have. I was trying to lead the wedding reception, so I missed all the drama of the wedding and the reception. Mercedes was taking care of the food situation, and she was lucky to have set aside a package of plates to serve the cake. Of course, Jessica and I barely ate anything. Jessica didn't eat much because of her anxiety.
The night before the wedding was chill, and we had everything prepared because the decorators decorated the chapel that we had the reception at. The food was catered. The food Mercedes contributed in addition to the catering was prepared at a previous time. We had time to meet as family to enjoy each other's company and the occasion. I found it odd that we decided to have the two sides of the family separate, but Jessica's family did their own thing, and my family went out to eat at a nice restaurant near my parents' hotel. The party size of the dinner was large. Aunt Glennalee and Devon came. They were my only aunt and uncle that came, which was expected because my family is not that united. Jessica's family is much more united. My groomsmen were there. When I started relationship with Jessica, I devoted my whole life to the preparation of our marriage, having neglected my friends. I had few groomsmen. It was basically the following two: Jesse Kaupert and Michael Angulo. My little brother and in-law were my groomsmen. I had trouble finding groomsmen to equal the number of Jessica's bridesmaids; not that she is more friendly, her roommates were close, which is typical for BYU-Idaho women student apartments. My apartments as a man were never as close to each other as Jessica's roommates. Arriving just in time from Utah, Jesse came with Paige Dexter and Rachel Dunlap, who are friends from BYU Idaho. We all had a good time eating together the night before the wedding.
I don't know exactly what Jessica did with her family the night before the wedding. I heard that everyone gave her marriage advice. R.E.'s was a little controversial, which is why I remember it. She said to let your children see you argue with your spouse, but I think that she means set a proper example of problem solving with communication. Hailey said something that Jessica and I already did, so I don't remember it well. Maybe I will ask Jessica. R.E. is Jessica's cousin, and Hailey is her half-sister.
The day of our marriage went very well. Portland was the best location because it allowed the atmosphere that we wanted, which mainly depended on dancing at the reception. We had the entire day planned for fun of family and friends. We had the marriage first. After we had our first breakfast at a Thai restaurant near the temple. We had a few hours until the reception, so we planned for a period of time for the bridesmaids and groomsmen to have a good time together with us. Afterwards we had our reception.
The sealing was done by Charle Grimshaw also known as Chuck. He was the bishop of my parent's, when they first got married. I don't remember much of what he said before the sealing. During the sealing, Jessica and I took two different things from his counsel. I remembered that Chuck said that he purchased land in the bay area of California before the 1989 earthquake to build their house. A large rock was discovered on the property after the land was acquired. A concrete foundation was not an option, and Chuck had the opportunity of building the house on the rock analyzed. The house was ultimately designed to be constructed on the rock. When the 1989 earthquake came, all his neighbor's houses were destroyed except for his. The rock is the Savior Jesus Christ, and "He that buildeth upon this rock shall never fall." (D&C 50:44)
After the sealing we took pictures. Mercedes practically did everything for Jasmine's wedding pictures except take the pictures, having to choose the location and arrange the families for the photographer. One thing that was weird if the she forgot to arrange a picture for both the Ledesma and Roger family together. I definitely did not what to witness that again. We got a professional photographer to arrange everything. The pictures came out great. Jessica complained for a long time about how she didn't look natural, enduring her social anxiety. She has said that she wished that she continued to take her medication, and she has also said about the photography that she is proud of how everything went even the pictures. In my opinion, there is nothing wrong with the pictures. She looks at wedding pictures a lot, which has let her ponder our wedding day.
It is Hicken family tradition to do a first breakfast, which is the first meal of a marriage. This was the first time where both extended families got to commune with each other. I asked my father to host it. Kurtis Day, my cousin, had an interactive first breakfast, letting family members tell stories of the newlyweds, but dad mainly started the meal with a prayer and gave me a general conference talk about marriage. The meal was an arranged buffet at a Thai restaurant. Our company filled most of the restaurant. Glennalee and Devon, the parents of Kurtis Day, has a special connection with Beaverton, Oregon because Kurtis served in my in-laws Spanish group. It was not a branch at the time of Kurtis' mission. Everyone got along well, but Mercedes divided from John. We had my parents sit at one table and grandparents sit at another. Jessica's parents were sitting awkwardly together, and Mercedes had her best friend sit with them. I also sat at a table with Jessica, and the generations were all on a row. Jessica's grandma sat with the family because her spouse has passed away. I tried to mingle with all of the family well, but I feel that we neglected to cultivate a bond with Jessica's little cousins especially Eve's children.
After the first breakfast I planned the time until the reception to time for the bridesmaids and groomsmen to have a good time together. I delegated to Jesse Kaupert to organize the activity. It was the idea of Paige's date with Jesse, when they went out once. We were going to fold paper boats and race them, since the Park was closed. Jesse had to improvise. We almost went exploring add some hiking trails, but the bridesmaids weren't into it, since they were dressed nice. We settled with folding paper into swans. We were at a park for a long time, waiting for R.E. and Hailey, but Daniel, Jessica's uncle, was too exhausted, requiring a nap; therefore, their time with us before the wedding reception was a haphazardly moment. Mercedes was rushing us to be at the reception area to help prepare and receive the cake; however, we did not feel that is necessary. We hung out and had a good time with our friends. I have heard people say that my focus on people was admirable. Every moment was about relationships. We basically subcontracted all the labor for the reception preparation.
The reception started very slow. We could choose to greet everyone individually or make a line for the guests to greet us. Jessica and I decided to have a line, so the guests can visit with the patriarchs and matriarchs of our families. We planned to meet the guests, hoping to have them seated with food within 30-45 minutes, but it took longer than anticipated. The family and Jessica especially was anxious. When everyone was ready, we had Jessica's father begin the activities. John's introduction was generic, and Jessica had Lucas Rodgers give the invocation. Afterwards Jessica and I cut the cake. We didn't practice it, so it was a little hectic. The slice that we cut ourselves was small. After that time we rested somewhat. Jessica tossed her bouquet, giving her little time to eat. She couldn't eat anyway, since she was so nervous. One of the main reasons that we chose to have the reception in Portland was for the environment of Latin dancing with Jessica's Spanish branch and her mother's Colombian heritage.
The father daughter dance was a little weird. Our guidance to the DJ was very minimal, which made the experience memorable. We asked John for a suggestion for a song for the daddy daughter dance, but he didn't give one. I danced with my mother as Jessica danced with her father. At first the song was a ballroom dance style of boxes. Mom taught it to me, and it was fine; however, the song changed music styles every thirty seconds or so. Jessica characterizes the song as a carousel song. It was awkward. The song choices were a little awkward too; plus, the DJ would have a ten second merengue song to transition between songs, which would confuse me. I am not used to having a miniature song transition between songs in dances. R.E., a daughter of Aaron Ledesma whose who is an uncle of Jessica lead the group in some dances. Her family are dancers. Lucas' dancing was goofy funny. Michael Angulo was a little awkward. It seemed like he was flirting with Jessica's married half-sister, Hayley. We were happy with the dance most everyone was dancing. Jessica is the only person that could get me dancing.
Jessica and I delegated the role of decorating our car and preparing our departure from the reception to the bridesmaids. We passed out a bunch of bubbles containers. It maded the dance fun. Mercedes couldn't figure out how to blow bubbles with what we got. After a while people formed a long line from the cultural hall out of the chapel, and both sides made an arch. Jessica and I ran through the line. Dad thought that we left too quickly. People blew bubbles. People waved good bye. Grandma Ledesma commented about having children. We drove off to a Hilton Suite.
One thing that I have not said is that Jessica and I had never kissed before our sealing. She thought that it would be romantic to have her first kiss when we were married. She immediately thought that it was foolish when we kissed for the first time in front of everyone during the sealing. I am talking about kisses on the lips. We drove to an embassy suite, and we thought that would be good; plus, it was advised by the Bleaks, who we were staying with. The time at the hotel is important to set new familiarity. I never felt so loved.
We chose the 19th of March because the weekend before school would be crazy; the weekend before that was general conference; and the weekend before general conference was the women's conference of general conference; therefore, we chose 19th of March because it was the weekend before all of the conference.
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